It's that time of year...yes Christmas (Xmas for short), most definitely not <yuck>'holidays'</yuck>.There's far too much chocolate in the VLDB office as you might expect. Geeks & chocolate are a winning combo, so it won't last long.Moving on...office Xmas decorations - check. Office Xmas party - check. Silly jumpers - check. Secret Santa - check. Loud Xmas music - check.As we draw ever nearer to *finally* going home for Xmas, our thoughts turn to what VLDB's Xmas list to Santa might look like...so, here goes...Dear Santa, can you please make sure clients understand at least some of the following:
- Data warehouse systems aren't a side-project you can pay for with left over funding from another project. Real funding, sponsorship, requirements & commitment are required. Subject Matter Experts (SMEs) or Business Analysts (BAs) will need to provide guidance to get an analytic solution delivered. Technology & designers/developers on their own won't get very far.
- High praise from the likes of Gartner doesn't mean a particular technology is a good fit for your organisation. Figure out your needs/wants/desires afore ye go looking to buy shiny new tech. Thou shalt not believe all thou hears at conferences. It's the job of tech companies, VCs, analysts & conference organisers to whip up excitement (see kool-aid). They're not on the hook for delivery.
- Accurate estimates for design/build/test are only possible if analysis is carried out. Either you do it, pay us to do it, or accept estimates with wide tolerances.
- Quality Assurance (QA) is not the same as unit testing. It's a real thing that folks do. Lots of them. No really!
- CSV files with headers and trailers are a perfectly acceptable way to build data interfaces. Lots of very large organisations are guilty of clinging on to this 'unsexy' approach. It 'just works'.
- You'll probably need a scheduler to run stuff. cron is not a scheduler. Nor is the DBA.
- If you could have 'built that ourselves in SQL Server in 5 days' you would have already done so.
- Don't focus on our rate card. Focus on the project ROI. Oh, wait, you haven't even thought about ROI. Doh!
- Yes, we can get deltas out of your upstream applications without crashing the system. It's what we do. We'll even prove it.
- If you want us to work on site we'll need desks to sit at, preferably next to each other. We're picky like that ;-)
Have a great Xmas & New Year Santa,Love from all at VLDB xxxHave a great Xmas & New Year, and here's to 2017 .